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I stopped going to that job.
I’m still up by 8 am lately and doing things around the house.
I bought a shock collar for the dog!

It’s hilarious.

Ok it’s not as bad as it sounds. It’s the same kind of zap you get from getting shocked opening your car door and holding a brand new nine volt battery on your tongue. I tried it all over my forearm.
Lila makes me nuts. Everyone knows I play with other people’s dogs and tell them I wish my dog were cool like this. Lila has really low self esteem living with cats. She can’t get on the counters and when her bony ass is in my lap I tend to know right away but the cats always seem to ninja me. How long has this cat been here? Lila gets jipped. Aside from her personality, she’s had this IBS thingy going on for about two years. I changed her diet first. I cut her snacks second. I took her to the veterinarian third and now… shock collar.

Mom logic is always sound.

No, seriously… She’s a Poo Dog. She’s so obsessed about “dinner” that if there is regular dry kibble in her bowl, she’ll go snack a cat clod out of the litter box. All “dinner” means is mixing a bit of canned food into her kibble. (dog makes me nuts)

So here’s what I bought:
Pawz Away Indoor Pet Barrier
It’s supposed to give her a tone that we don’t hear and then an audible one for us (or so says Dismal because the only manuals I read are from Ikea) and then the zaps begin and grow in rhythm until they time out or the dog gets away from the invisible barrier.
And I’m not supposed to laugh. None of us are but you know me, Dismal and his boy are cracking up and feeling bad for it but I can’t stop. I’m used to finding random cat deuce and litter tracks all over my home for a VERY LONG TIME. I’m not going to change the diet of five cats to try to have the poop flavor deter the dog. Maybe her stomach will function normally then.

Five cats?
Oh yeah we have a little man tux staying here for the time being. He was a stray outside that seems fairly domesticated and right at that gangly age. I can’t see anything on a black cat so I groped him to find out the sex and to my surprise he’s completely intact. Dis put up flyers and a Craigslist ad if anyone lost a cat but no one has contacted him. I got his testing done and his vaccines started. He’s set for a booster and a neuter in three weeks. I already mailed off my voucher application and hope I receive it before his appointment. I also have to make some more calls to the Humane Society and inquire about submitting proof and scheduling through them for low income.
Right now I’m calling him Junior since he’s such a little turd that when we’re really snuggly I end up with wet spots all over my shirt. He’s a suckler. He tried to do it to Dis but he’s not the sap that I am.
We’re also having a friend of the family seriously discuss with their SO about taking our Turkish Angora. She’s not happy since I took in the tortie. She wants a person all of her own. She was the one that used to live in our closet while family was staying with us during the closing of their new home. She’s fully declawed (why would people do this?1)and very quiet and just wants to give and receive loves.

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